My post-apocalyptic quest towards the light
If the weather prediction is right, the snow falling outside my window right this minute is only the beginning of – ♬ dun-dun-duuuun ♬ – Snowmageddon 2019. Seriously, that’s what they’re calling it, folks, except when they’re calling it Snowpocalypse 2019. I find this so amusing that I’ve been texting my friends and family in... Continue Reading →
For weeks, I’ve been picking my way through a post that I can’t seem to pin down. It’s an important one so I’ve been whittling away at it a little bit at a time. Well, maybe not whittling – more like taking an axe to the dang thing every few days and then starting over.... Continue Reading →
“Maybe you don’t feel like it, but you need to do it anyway.” That’s what the little voice inside my head kept repeating this morning. It’s Sunday. I was still in my pajamas with a cat on my lap as the clock ticked ever closer to 10 am. I’m not going to lie, there are... Continue Reading →
After a major trauma, an ever-expanding collection of discarded calendar pages can sometimes feel like a small achievement to savor. It allows you to quantify how far you’ve come since your life disintegrated before your very eyes. It provides an opportunity to look at the progress you’ve made and set a plan of attack for... Continue Reading →
I have a lot of magnets on my fridge. Most are photos of places and people I like to look at every time I’m in the kitchen. My fridge is a giant collage frame, but with yummy things to eat and drink stashed just behind the memories. There are a few other magnets too, like... Continue Reading →
It's official, folks! I have co-authored a book with my good friend and PTSD specialist, Dr. Lisa Campbell. Behavioral Activation for PTSD: A Workbook for Men applies the principles of the proactive behavioral activation approach to trauma-related symptoms. It offers exercises to help survivors overcome their triggers and avoidance behaviors by reintroducing positive, mood-boosting activities.... Continue Reading →
I am not going to sugarcoat this, today’s been rough. I’ve been humming along, cheerful and almost-whole for a while now. So this morning I didn’t recognize what was happening at first. Then it hit me, I was triggering and it was because Christine Blasey Ford was testifying in front of the whole dang country.... Continue Reading →
Think about your brain’s memory storage system. What comes to mind? For me, as someone leaning toward the visual side of life, it’s an image – my brain is a giant file cabinet. I know, I know – not very original. But never fear, it’s not one of those ugly office colors like putty or... Continue Reading →
When you are a trauma survivor, especially someone recovering from PTSD, you may feel like you have no choice but to lead a double life. On one side, you stand up as the whole you, your trauma truth has already been revealed and your friends and family have the information they need to comprehend your... Continue Reading →
In October of 2016, I was not myself. I wasn’t doing any of the things I love to do, the things that make me happy. I wasn’t writing. I wasn’t taking photos. I couldn’t read a novel or watch a full-length movie from start to finish. Getting through one book chapter or 22-minute sitcom was... Continue Reading →
Since 2010, the U.S. has recognized June 27th as National PTSD Awareness Day. The depictions you've seen on TV or in the movies are not always what PTSD looks like. Educate yourself. Take the time to learn about some of the ways post-traumatic stress can impact survivors and the people who care about them. Developing... Continue Reading →
On my very worst day, as I struggled to remember how to breathe, I held my child close and reminded myself that it could be worse. He could be dead. He could be missing. But he wasn’t. He was alive and I knew exactly where he was. In the days, weeks and months that followed,... Continue Reading →
I was sprawled belly down on my bedroom floor at 7 or 8, my little brother next to me, his hair sprouting from his head in springy, yellow question marks. We hovered over an old tape recorder, two of my fingers in position on the buttons, one black and one red, ready to act. The... Continue Reading →
The two-year anniversary of the crime is stalking me - almost at a cellular level. It’s part of my skin, my bones, my soul. With each day, the tick-tick-tock inside my brain gets incrementally louder. I don’t know how this year will differ from last. I imagine it might be a little easier to keep... Continue Reading →
In May of 2016, I went to bed as me and woke up in someone else’s life. I may have come a long way since then, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t have some residual issues hanging on like parasites. Most of the time, I have trouble understanding how it’s taken so... Continue Reading →
I will not be silent
My blog has multiple personality disorder. At times it’s a fun, lighthearted travel romp full of exciting destinations and mouth-watering food. Sometimes it’s replete with photos of cute, zany pets who make me laugh. But at other times, on the darkest of days, it’s a dive into the mind of a woman, the mother of... Continue Reading →
I need you to trust me for a moment. This is not a political post, but it might sound like one at first. And it's rather long. Please, just keep reading. Sadly, once you figure out what I’m actually saying, you’re going to wish it were simply one more diatribe about politicians. You might want... Continue Reading →
We’ve got weather! So far things are ok. We made it through the night without any trees falling near our townhouse and we still have power, unlike some others in the area. However, that was merely Storm One. Storm Two is supposed to hit tomorrow and it could get freaky wild and windy. So, keep... Continue Reading →
My niece wrote a poem for school. My sister-in-law sent it to me and it made me cry. In that one short poem she demonstrated that she is a writing force to be reckoned with. She is fierce. She set the mood, forged memorable characters, elicited fond memories from her audience, and took us from... Continue Reading →
Sometimes when I’m overwhelmed by the craziness that’s been my year, I turn on some music and listen to the words. I try to hear the message the writer set out to deliver. Today, it was Mat Kearney delivering the much-needed counseling. “Just because it’s pouring down, doesn’t mean we’re gonna drown.” I’m keeping my... Continue Reading →
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