My post-apocalyptic quest towards the light
Like most cars, mine comes fully equipped with an assortment of mirrors that play a role in keeping me safe. Shhh, don’t tell the other two, but I have a favorite. The right mirror, with its handy warning—Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear—reminds me that something unexpected might pop into view, and... Continue Reading →
Change is coming. I feel it in the air. I feel it in my bones. There’s something magical about those first signs that spring is about to wrestle the baton from winter’s grasp, leading us all on a merry romp away from a grayscale existence and back into the warm exuberance of a technicolor world.... Continue Reading →
After waiting 23 long years to see a snowflake fall from the sky, warm winters are not my thing. My lifetime snow quota has yet to be met. I greet snow days with glee. So you can imagine my disappointment that temps have stayed well above freezing this winter. We’ve had rain—lots and lots of... Continue Reading →
Those of you who know me personally might think that today’s title is a reference to my recent birthday. It isn’t. Although I do find it amusing that the word “gold” ends with the world “old”… Today, let’s start with pre-crime me. The me who sported some dents and dings but had not yet shattered.... Continue Reading →
I just had the best dream I've ever had. I was flying. I know it’s not unusual—people have flight dreams all the time. But not me. Instead, I have crazy-ass dreams that unfold like blockbuster Hollywood movies complete with large casts, scene changes, and full-on plots. I’m talking dreams that require a costume department and... Continue Reading →
The two days I loathe the most are coming and I can’t do anything to stop them. Ten days ago, braced for impact, I forced myself to stare at a fresh calendar page. I was pushing back against one of my triggers. Since that horrible day in 2016, seeing the word “May” kicks off a... Continue Reading →
I believe you. There are so many of you. One would be too many, but there are millions - even billions. It is not your fault. It is not your shame. And you do not have to remain silent.
Rediscovering who you are may be solitary, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't ask for help when you feel overwhelmed. Recovering from PTSD/C-PTSD is a backbreaking slog through every level of hell. Find your support team and allow them to have your back as needed. Asking for help doesn't mean you're weak, it means you... Continue Reading →
I have always been a writer. Whether or not I’m any good is up to you, but for a long time, the possible judgment of others hobbled my abilities. An acute fear of humiliation and criticism kept me from pursuing my passion in any sort of public way. Obviously, that ship has freaking sailed. Funny,... Continue Reading →
Living with PTSD is a struggle and recovery requires a substantial amount of energy that, due to your symptoms, you may not have on tap to expend. At times, you’re stuck in place, consumed by symptoms flaring up so hot and high that your inner light is nothing more than an insignificant spark consumed by... Continue Reading →
A few days ago, a woman in a social media PTSD group I'm in posted about a close friend who was suicidal - their story was one of those things that really reaches into your soul and grabs you. Long story short - her husband died in a freak recreational accident and the suicidal guy... Continue Reading →
One foot in front of the other - no matter how long the road. I know it's brutal. I also know that you can do this.
One day when I was young, I was sprawled on our living room sofa so absorbed in a book that I didn’t notice my mom and a neighbor join me in the room. When I tuned back into my surroundings, there they were, sitting nearby and chatting away. Let me tell you, people, my reality... Continue Reading →
Triggers are curious. Picture this – I’m cleaning my garage and pick up a box. There’s a piece of paper on the floor where the box used to be. I look at it. It’s one of those forms a moving company makes you sign when they deliver your stuff. It’s from November 3, 2016 –... Continue Reading →
In honor of National PTSD Awareness Day, set aside a few minutes to join Friends Fight Back as we fight for awareness, education, and understanding of this brutal disorder. PTSD doesn't have to be a life sentence.
I’m always on the hunt for something that might make a difference in the way you see your own battle with PTSD or that will help someone else understand a little bit of what it’s like to live with this disorder. Every once in a while, the perfect situation drops into place and - *boom*... Continue Reading →
Years ago, I choked on a bite of food. I’m not using the word choked lightly here, people. There was a moment when I believed I was about to die right in front of my child. I wasn’t coughing and sputtering – I couldn’t – because I wasn’t able to breathe – like, at all.... Continue Reading →
May. Almost overnight, trees naked since before Halloween sprout bright green leaves, flowers pop, and the sun’s rays are warm enough to pink exposed cheeks and noses. School-aged children smell the freedom that lurks just out of reach, but it’s not yet hotter than an August day in hell. Nor are there insects buzzing around... Continue Reading →
Dr. Lisa Campbell and I did a radio interview about PTSD and you can listen to it here!
In my first post after our big Italian adventure, I promised to write about triggering while traveling. For those of you who have been waiting with bated breath for that post to drop, today’s your lucky day! Let’s dig in. First, I want you to understand what a trigger is. To do that, I’m going... Continue Reading →
Once upon a time, a mom embarked on an adventure with her son, their two corgis, and Jasper - the cat in the backpack. They traveled by car from Upstate New York to Western Washington over the course of three weeks. They visited amazing places, slept in random motels, ate whatever they could forage along... Continue Reading →
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