My post-apocalyptic quest towards the light
Like most cars, mine comes fully equipped with an assortment of mirrors that play a role in keeping me safe. Shhh, don’t tell the other two, but I have a favorite. The right mirror, with its handy warning—Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear—reminds me that something unexpected might pop into view, and... Continue Reading →
Change is coming. I feel it in the air. I feel it in my bones. There’s something magical about those first signs that spring is about to wrestle the baton from winter’s grasp, leading us all on a merry romp away from a grayscale existence and back into the warm exuberance of a technicolor world.... Continue Reading →
After waiting 23 long years to see a snowflake fall from the sky, warm winters are not my thing. My lifetime snow quota has yet to be met. I greet snow days with glee. So you can imagine my disappointment that temps have stayed well above freezing this winter. We’ve had rain—lots and lots of... Continue Reading →
Those of you who know me personally might think that today’s title is a reference to my recent birthday. It isn’t. Although I do find it amusing that the word “gold” ends with the world “old”… Today, let’s start with pre-crime me. The me who sported some dents and dings but had not yet shattered.... Continue Reading →
The two days I loathe the most are coming and I can’t do anything to stop them. Ten days ago, braced for impact, I forced myself to stare at a fresh calendar page. I was pushing back against one of my triggers. Since that horrible day in 2016, seeing the word “May” kicks off a... Continue Reading →
Rediscovering who you are may be solitary, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't ask for help when you feel overwhelmed. Recovering from PTSD/C-PTSD is a backbreaking slog through every level of hell. Find your support team and allow them to have your back as needed. Asking for help doesn't mean you're weak, it means you... Continue Reading →
I have always been a writer. Whether or not I’m any good is up to you, but for a long time, the possible judgment of others hobbled my abilities. An acute fear of humiliation and criticism kept me from pursuing my passion in any sort of public way. Obviously, that ship has freaking sailed. Funny,... Continue Reading →
Living with PTSD is a struggle and recovery requires a substantial amount of energy that, due to your symptoms, you may not have on tap to expend. At times, you’re stuck in place, consumed by symptoms flaring up so hot and high that your inner light is nothing more than an insignificant spark consumed by... Continue Reading →
One foot in front of the other - no matter how long the road. I know it's brutal. I also know that you can do this.
You aren't really alone - there are a lot of us who feel the exact same thing. Hugs to those of you who need one - a kind smile to those of you who don't want to be touched.
One day when I was young, I was sprawled on our living room sofa so absorbed in a book that I didn’t notice my mom and a neighbor join me in the room. When I tuned back into my surroundings, there they were, sitting nearby and chatting away. Let me tell you, people, my reality... Continue Reading →
Perhaps some of you need a refresher... It is not your fault.It is not your shame.You do not have to be silent. (But it is always up to you. Do what feels right.) Check out my original I will not be silent post. For more information about the impact of PTSD and trauma on survivors... Continue Reading →
Triggers are curious. Picture this – I’m cleaning my garage and pick up a box. There’s a piece of paper on the floor where the box used to be. I look at it. It’s one of those forms a moving company makes you sign when they deliver your stuff. It’s from November 3, 2016 –... Continue Reading →
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