My post-apocalyptic quest towards the light
Think about your brain’s memory storage system. What comes to mind? For me, as someone leaning toward the visual side of life, it’s an image – my brain is a giant file cabinet. I know, I know – not very original. But never fear, it’s not one of those ugly office colors like putty or... Continue Reading →
When you are a trauma survivor, especially someone recovering from PTSD, you may feel like you have no choice but to lead a double life. On one side, you stand up as the whole you, your trauma truth has already been revealed and your friends and family have the information they need to comprehend your... Continue Reading →
In October of 2016, I was not myself. I wasn’t doing any of the things I love to do, the things that make me happy. I wasn’t writing. I wasn’t taking photos. I couldn’t read a novel or watch a full-length movie from start to finish. Getting through one book chapter or 22-minute sitcom was... Continue Reading →
When I was a teenager, I painted my walls green and papered them with European travel posters and impressionist reproductions. Art and travel – these particular passions haven’t changed much since then except that, as I’ve wandered, my tastes have expanded in ways I never would have predicted. As a bonus, these loves of mine... Continue Reading →
Since 2010, the U.S. has recognized June 27th as National PTSD Awareness Day. The depictions you've seen on TV or in the movies are not always what PTSD looks like. Educate yourself. Take the time to learn about some of the ways post-traumatic stress can impact survivors and the people who care about them. Developing... Continue Reading →
On my very worst day, as I struggled to remember how to breathe, I held my child close and reminded myself that it could be worse. He could be dead. He could be missing. But he wasn’t. He was alive and I knew exactly where he was. In the days, weeks and months that followed,... Continue Reading →
You know those things you use so often that you just can’t see them clearly anymore? We all have them. Maybe it’s your favorite pair of sneakers. They were cute and new when you walked all over London in them, but now they’re dirty and lopsided. You don’t see their degeneration because every time you... Continue Reading →
I was sprawled belly down on my bedroom floor at 7 or 8, my little brother next to me, his hair sprouting from his head in springy, yellow question marks. We hovered over an old tape recorder, two of my fingers in position on the buttons, one black and one red, ready to act. The... Continue Reading →
The two-year anniversary of the crime is stalking me - almost at a cellular level. It’s part of my skin, my bones, my soul. With each day, the tick-tick-tock inside my brain gets incrementally louder. I don’t know how this year will differ from last. I imagine it might be a little easier to keep... Continue Reading →
In May of 2016, I went to bed as me and woke up in someone else’s life. I may have come a long way since then, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t have some residual issues hanging on like parasites. Most of the time, I have trouble understanding how it’s taken so... Continue Reading →
I will not be silent
My blog has multiple personality disorder. At times it’s a fun, lighthearted travel romp full of exciting destinations and mouth-watering food. Sometimes it’s replete with photos of cute, zany pets who make me laugh. But at other times, on the darkest of days, it’s a dive into the mind of a woman, the mother of... Continue Reading →
For many months, I couldn’t find my voice. It was nothing more than a weak, insubstantial tangle of words. Without it I felt lost and adrift in the dark. My light, the one that I cherish above all others for its capacity to bare my soul and expose my heart to the world, was gone.... Continue Reading →
Spring has been slow to arrive in the Pacific Northwest this year. It’s been rather cool. It’s been rather rainy. I’m talking no sun, people. Like, no sun. We’re supposed to have at least a teeny, weeny, little bit. This is abnormal, even for Seattle. And the rain, don’t even get me started. It’s a... Continue Reading →
I don’t cry in public. Maybe a few tears during an emotional scene in a movie, or when I smack into a tragic moment in history, like at the 9/11 Museum in NYC. But otherwise, no tears. It’s not because I don’t feel sorrow or joy; I just don’t do big public displays of emotion.... Continue Reading →
Close your eyes. Imagine warm sun gleaming on your skin, leafy green trees offering an oasis of shade, and ice cream dripping down your hand because you can’t lick fast enough. I’m ready. How about you? By mid-summer I am vociferous in my opinions on the drawbacks of humidity. But, right now, not so much.... Continue Reading →
Thanks for coming back for part two. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you might want to go back and read my post from last week first. You can find it here. Auburn is a charming town with a lot of fantastic architecture on display. We should have spent the night in... Continue Reading →
The mission of my last post was simple. I needed to speak the truth about what happened so that I could finally begin the process of shedding some of the layers of pain I’ve amassed over the past nine months. I’m happy to report that it worked. I’ve even had a few recent mornings begin... Continue Reading →
I need you to trust me for a moment. This is not a political post, but it might sound like one at first. And it's rather long. Please, just keep reading. Sadly, once you figure out what I’m actually saying, you’re going to wish it were simply one more diatribe about politicians. You might want... Continue Reading →
I’ve always been adept at finding something to do when alone. Really, there's no shortage of fun to be had, books to read, movies to watch, things to think about, music to listen to, writing projects to work on. I love them all. Passionately. It’s not that I don’t like spending time with others. I... Continue Reading →
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